Thursday, October 23, 2008

Signs that your cat may have a drug or alcohol problem

[caption id="attachment_152" align="alignright" width="158" caption="Adorable behavior such as this may be a sign of something more sinister!"]Adorable behavior such as this may be a sign of something more sinister![/caption]

If your cat is using alcohol and drugs, it's a good bet they're doing everything possible to keep that activity hidden. The last thing they want is for their owners to give them a "hassle" about his newly-found "entertainment." But continued alcohol and drug use will affect your cat's behavior, attitudes and even choice of friends.

Here are some signs to look for, if you think that your cat may be using:

Mood Swings
    Most cats go through normal mood swings. But look for extreme changes -- one minute happy and giddy followed by withdrawal, or fits of clawing at the furniture more than usual. Is your cat both aloof and prone to acting out? These are possible signs of drug and alcohol abuse. 

New Friends? 
    If you cat is using, chances are they will begin hanging out with other cats with similar interests. Has your cat suddenly turned away from their old friends? Are they hanging out with an older (driving age) group or with those that you suspect are using drugs? 

Physical Health 
    Have you noticed a change in appetite? Is your cat extremely finicky about the food they eat? Does your your cat have strange or inexplicable sleeping patterns? 

    Have you notice anything missing lately? Alcoholic beverages? Maybe some really neat sounding pill bottles? 

    Has your cat suddenly developed a complete disregard for others? Does your cat get in your way or have a "bad attitude"? Is your cat evasive or troublesome, perhaps hiding when they know they've done something bad?

Little Things 
    Have you noticed a change in hairstyle or "fashion" choices? Are they suddenly using breath mints consistently? Is your cat suddenly very secretive? 

Overt Signals 
    Has anyone ever told you your cat is drinking or using drugs? Do you know that they have "experimented." Have they suddenly developed the need for additional money, for vague or unexplained reasons? Have you ever seen them stagger? Or have you noticed any slurred speech? Changes in the pupils of their eyes, or redness or bloodshot eyes? 

Again, many of these changes could be attributed to normal cat behavior. But if you have noticed a pattern of several of these "signals" your cat may be using alcohol or drugs.


thanks to for.... virtually all of this text.

Friday, October 3, 2008

My Wikipedia Entry for Gossip Girl

While everyone else is obsessed with the idea of teens getting it on (OMG! Teenagers having Sex! Can it be?) I couldn't help but notice something else about the show based on a school affiliated my own snotty-a#$@ed childhood alma-matter, so I wrote my own wiki entry...

Gossip Girl (TV Series)

Jessica Szohr. In the eugenically sterilized world of Gossip Girls, black people have been improved: their new eye color is blue!In addition to lots of hot white characters, Gossip Girl also features a hot non-white character who plays Dan's BFF. (She even looks less white in other pictures!) If you believe she grew up in a scary part of Brooklyn, I'll sell you a bridge to that borough.

Gossip Girl is an American television teen drama based on the popular novel series of the same name written by Cecily von Ziegesar. Gossip Girl revolves around the lives of socialite young adults growing up on New York's least exciting neighborhood, the Upper East Side. The characters attend elite academic institutions while dealing with sex, drugs, jealousy, and other issues faced by today's rich white kids (oh, right, and Dan's BFF, what's-her-name1. She has to deal with pretending not to fit in, despite being from scary Brooklyn). Issues not addressed in detail include: depression, college admission, school work, money, medical problems, emotional problems, etc. (fortunately, that TV unfriendly stuff doesn't happen to these kids, even, surprisingly, anorexia).

Despite the appearance of non-wasp characters a non-wasp character, the audience is able to fantasize themselves into an all-white world (just like Groton's founder Endicott Peabody dreamed of, too!) because that character at least has blue eyes and is really hot and has a "normal" job working in a cafe (off-camera she's a model).

Apparently, the writers attended New York City private schools either in 1947, or in the South, because several of the episodes depict things like coming out cotillions (I know the characters are too old for bar/bat mitzvahs, but cotillions? WTF? How about the Gold and Silver Ball next season?).2

Anyway relax, this show is totally race-sanitized: no major Asian characters or Black characters (unless they have blue eyes, exotic sounding names and can pass for children of characters from the '90's hit show Friends), and definitely no Jews. Not the Upper East Side I remember from my high school days, but it's definitely the Upper East Side many of my friends' parents probably dreamed about. It's sort of like a eugenics project, only it's not real, so you can feel good about that, too, because some of those schools really are eugenics projects and that's more than a little creepy.


The show's critics allege that the show raises some adult themes. What exactly constitutes an adult theme? According to Bill Waterson, it's things like doing paperwork, filing, etc. Indeed, the show has that: Nate becomes involved in the family business and so on, so I advise parents caution when allowing their children to watch this show.

Season 2

Rumor has it that more adult themes are in store next season. Perhaps they'll be doing taxes, or learning right from wrong or even drinking adult drinks like cosmos? Perhaps the smarter ones will grow up properly and turn into chicktellectuals.

Discussion Questions

  • Wasn't there an Asian chick with no lines in the pilot?

  • What's more boring, a blog about a TV show or a TV show about a blog?

  • If you were going to have a bitchy argument synchronized to a song, which song would it be?

  • In what way is Jessica Szohr's character not white?3


1 It's hard to remember the character's name when she's missing from more episodes than any other character. I wonder why that is.
2 Okay, truth be told, there were a few cotillions, but nobody got excited about them except the young ladies' mothers.
3 We're looking for either everyone talks about how great she is in order to feel accepting of her, or she provides advice and, you might say, spiritual guidance the real other characters.